All Things WRITING!

Since everybody’s been making these awesome topics, I MUST MAKE OOOOOONEEEEEE.

So, this is for all things writing! You can discuss tips and advice for writing, as well as you can post your own writerly masterpieces! GET WRITING! :grin: :writing_hand: :memo:


Oh… well I’m writing a story about some girl who’s trying to find her father, but I’m not sure I’ll immerse into it.:neutral_face:


I don’t have a master piece yet, but I am writing about a rather large plot called the Tri-Ring.
it is about two realms that are connected to our own. The three form a sort of a ring.
I am actually writing three books. My main one I’m working on right now is about a teen boy who travels to Azoria, one of the realms, and has to help overthrow a man in a black coat, who has set himself up as ruler and unleashed terrifying beasts known as Skrimblins.
He has a few aids, however. A preacher known as the Shepard, a special “living” pistol known as the Witness, and of course the help of the creator of Azoria, the Watchful One.

Agh, I need to write.


O . O

Epic, both of you! :hushed: @AlienPotato, @PlͥⱥgͣuͫeDoctor - WOW. I love those books/ideas/writings! :hushed:

What do you mean?


Did someone say. . . writing?!


My newest writing project is a story about a Pied Piper character called The Silver Piper, who is basically a kidnapper for an evil lord mining a magical substance-- and I’m getting ahead of myself, but there’s a lot more to the story that I’ll save for later.

My biggest story (40,000 words) is about two cousins named Maria and Sean who stumble into a mystical land where mankind and mythological creatures called Chevorhinai are at war for power. Or in the chevorhinai’s case; survival. I was thinking of making it the first book in a trilogy, buuuut that’s yet to happen.

I have more ideas than I tend to finish writing-- A dramatic retelling of my rabbit’s life, an account of an intelligent rat named Sully, a Redwall style book about a band of good ferrets…


I probably won’t tell the books that I have published ('cause then people could look 'em up and all that [but I’m pretty sure y’all already know :smirk:]), but I will tell you guys a book/story I am working on…

. . .

It’s called Sabre Black.

*takes deep breath and decides not to say any more until queried *

*hears crickets chirping and sees peering eyes *


*hides in little burrowed hole and snickers *



Well, like I’m not sure if I’m gonna dive head first into the story and go on a writing streak with inspirations and ideas. I think this one will go at a slow pace, especially with some bigger projects that need to be finished (Inferring to my space one). So basically, this story could just be picked up and then left behind if something doesn’t make me want to write more about it.


I’m gonna explain my story more rather than this:

Oh… well I’m writing a story about some girl who’s trying to find her father, but I’m not sure I’ll immerse into it.:neutral_face:

So here:

Her father went missing during a project names ‘XONOS’, (That’s temporary, (maybe) but Xonos’ named sounded cool so I stuck it there.) He was an Astronaut/Astronomer, and so she’s been working with a group of kids at her school to find him.

My other one has much more details in the summary, so that would take a while, when I have time, I explain it.


Love it!
Right now two of my books are fictional which is always interesting… and the other is maybe a devotional type one I haven’t decide for sure though…:thinking:
I’m super excited about the first book! It’s about a girl who becomes a spy for a king. It’s gonna be interesting…if I ever finish it, heh.


Cool! :grin: Pretty much all of my books are fictional. :smile:

Wow… That’s AMAZING! :hushed: Love the idea! :smiley:


Because…it’s easier… :no_mouth:
But I do like writing, just…it’s always been so difficult for me. Or at least, finishing what I start is difficult :stuck_out_tongue:


I feel ya. Reading is fun, but I actually have a little bit of dyslexia, which makes all of that stuff harder. Not that I don’t practice, though, cos practice makes peanut butter!

In all seriousness, though, writers need readers. Seriously. Much serious. (cwl)



Because it’s more creative and fun. O . O

And I read as a writer, not a reader, so.


They do.

*siiiiiigh *




I love both! Sometimes reading better because writing is so. . . hard. >.< And sometimes writing better because I want to spin off of the story and explore different ideas but the book keeps going without my brain catching up.

Totally agree! Books inspire me to write and I still get some of my best writing tips from them. :smile:


Um. . . I need. . . critique. :smirk:

I’ve finished the first two segments of a very large post, but the last two are still in progress. And. . . this is for Skyraiders, so hush. :smirk: Don’t give any spoilers on the Aetherlight forums until after it has been posted. I am entrusting the first precious post into your hands. . .

Two days before Tempest arrived at the Sanctuary. . .

White dove wings soared through the sky, camouflaged amongst white, fluffy clouds; and below these wings lay a vast forest: the Giant Seed Forest. The Giant Seed Forest—the perfect place for a fugitive to hide as no one dared venture out to that area of Aethasia, and hidden within the forest was someone who was more hidden than she in the clouds, yet difficulty wouldn’t stop her finding him. She spotted a heat signature below and dove down, landing near a small, scanty campsite.

The fire had just been put out. The young lady looked left and right. No one— except a silhouette of heat. “I can see you,” the young lady said.

Out from the shadows of a giant tree stepped a young man with dark, ominous wings and almost-shoulder-length black hair. He had his sword ready in hand, but after noticing her wings, he paused and asked, “Who are you? And why are you here?”

“My name is Evangeline, but I go by the more familiar alias Angel. I am from a group of Wynged at Sky Haven in Evergreen Meadows and have been called out by the Resistance’s leader, the Scarlet Man, to carry out a mission to find someone—someone by the name of— Tempest Vonpride. I believe you are he as I was instructed that he’d be hiding amongst the outskirts of this forest.”

"Why would the Scarlet Man be looking for me?"

“He has a mission for you if you so choose to accept it. In two days, there will be an assault on a Wynged sanctuary on the Old Mount. The group of Wynged there are called the Skyraiders, and they are a special group of Wynged the Scarlet Man has great plans for. But they will need help and more manpower to fight against the Empire in the days and months to come, which is why the Scarlet Man needs you. He has chosen you to break free His Wynged who are captive at Evercity. You were once a captive there but managed to escape. You know the layout of Evercity’s containment center and are the only one so far who has broken out from its walls. Please, there are many Wynged at stake—others like you out there—who need help.”

Tempest stared at Evangeline for a few seconds, soaking in all the information. Flashbacks of his experience at Evercity flooded his mind as well as the experiments he had suffered through. No, I’m not going back there, Tempest thought.

Evangeline could see his heart-rate and heat signature rising. She continued speaking as if she already knew what he was thinking. “Please, you’re the only one right now who knows their way in and out of Evercity. There are many lives at risk and people who will need your help in the days to come. We all despise the Empire. We have all been touched in some way by its claws. Families have been torn apart, people have been hurt, and many more will continue to suffer if we do not fight with the Scarlet Man. The Scarlet Man has chosen you. Will you choose to take up responsibility and fight the good fight?”

Tempest winced. His mind hurt to think about returning to a place filled with dreaded memories and experiences, but he knew many others held captive there were going through just the same torments he had. If it was the Scarlet Man, he knew the Scarlet Man could always find someone else to do the job, but to pass up a responsibility that the Scarlet Man had great faith and expectation for him to do made Tempest feel guilty inside. Then, like raging storm, Tempest began to doubt himself and wonder whether he was really qualified for the responsibility. He escaped once, but what if he got caught again? He escaped once, but what if he failed getting the Wynged out? Tempest was torn in two.

Then the storm of doubts settled and a calm flooded over him. Tempest began to think back on the Scarlet Man. If the Scarlet Man chose him, this was a very special and important responsibility; and if the Scarlet Man thought he was the right man for the job, there couldn’t be any doubt about His decision. Instead of thinking on his limitations, Tempest reverted his mind on the lives at stake. He made his decision. He would not let the Scarlet Man nor his fellow Wynged down.

Tempest asked, “What must I do?”

“Journey to Evercity and break out the Wynged you will find there. Some may decide to follow you; others may flee and scatter. Do not worry about gathering them. The Scarlet Man will take care of them. Break them free, and then you must hurry to the Old Mount. Near the peak of the mountain, you will find a Wynged sanctuary.” Evangeline paused and procured a letter from her cloak. “Deliver this message to them and stay with them. You will no longer need to run, hide, or wander. They will provide you with a safe haven and a place you can call home. There, your talents and gifts will be used and needed. Help the Skyraiders and support them in their fight against the Empire, and you shall be blessed. May the Scarlet Man be with you.”

With that, Evangeline braced herself and suddenly shot off toward the sky. Her job was done, and now she must return to Sky Haven for further orders.

Tempest watched as Evangeline took off. Now was his turn to complete his mission. Traveling from the Great Seed Forest to Evercity would take about half a day on foot. Therefore, he decided to wait no later than sundown to depart and then sneak into Evercity before dawn. Then, hopefully, by the time he would finish breaking out the Wynged, he could escape Evercity before sunrise and make it to the Old Mount to deliver the message in time. Until then, he would prepare his belongings and get some food and rest before sundown.

@ Evangeline @ Tempest_Vonpride/@ Arrethtraen_Sprocketline


Please feel free to give any writing and editing critique! Afterwards, I’ll post the second segment I’ve already finished. Consider yourselves my first beta readers! :wink:

@Gworg @Bellflowerp @PlͥⱥgͣuͫeDoctor @MirthV.Direfight @Millennium @LadyGrey @Perithebeast @Rapunzel @SierepicaFuzzywalker @ Anyone else who is a Skyraider or interested in Skyraiders


puts on critic hat

Okay, I haven’t actually had a bunch of time to read Skyraiders, so I haven’t caught up. But I’ll do my best anyway. First, can I just say that I am absolutely blown away by the writing in that role-play? You guys have come so far since Xonos Darkgrate: Criminal and Adventures with the Scarlet man and even Books and Crannies. I’ve read writing in college classes that is not as good as this (granted, writing in college is much harder than writing for role-play, but still).

The first thing I would be concerned about, other than the fact that you’re ripping off the idea of Lucky’s Prison from me :stuck_out_tongue:, is whether you actually have characters waiting to start from the “Lucky’s Jail” spawn point. If I hadn’t wrote Kieran’s character in AAU, I would be immediately be interested in inserting a character there that got loose, exploring what they would think, their reactions, etc. With that being said, the character of Tempest sounds really real and fleshed out, here. I think you were going for a dark and brooding character?

The problem is, it seems that you have a timeline break going on here, so you’re implying that the prison break from Lucky’s place already happened, in the past, and we are totally glossing over the whole thing. That seems like a huge waste of a RP concept (but who am I to talk, I’m actually fleshing out that concept of Lucky’s prison over in my own RP, so…I’m really not sure what to say…rip me off more? :stuck_out_tongue:). That aside, Lucky’s place in Skyraiders can be totally different than Lucky’s castle in Autagtrophe, and in fact it probably should be. It could even just be a prison totally unconnected to the man’s throne, and it probably should be - I mean, the Wynged have powers, right? Not something you want close by - put them in a remote prison away from it all.

With that being said, I really do like the idea of the individual call of the Scarlet Man and Tempest’s emotions in response…but I think it comes at the expense of the concept you have going on. If you haven’t already made this impossible, I would so much rather that Tempest’s past be kept secret and that he would work with his fellow Wynged to make that prison break happen in the future. That would make it so the other players of the RP can get in on it with you from both sides - as the trapped Wynged to be rescued and the Wynged who decide to help Tempest in spite of the fact that he is probably brooding as a result of his bad memories (I used to do this a LOT, yeah?) and would be inclined to push people away. You can feel free to ignore me if that’s not the vision you had for that character or it doesn’t fit in the RP, but just on reading this I feel like you’re selling yourself short and missing an opportunity for a lot better story.

And it might be a teeny bit unrealistic for the Scarlet Man to call this guy alone, seeing as God often wants us to work together. Not everything has to support that idea - that theme is overused in a lot of movies and TV shows, but it also makes its way into the Aetherlight in the filling of the Great Engines and how it’s a team effort.

And one Wynged guy went back alone and rescued everyone, got past all of the defenses that were designed to stop Wynged from escaping, when he barely made it out alive himself last time? I’m just supposed to believe this in whole color? Did he have help? Special knowledge of the place? How did this happen? I want to know how this guy pulled it off (maybe if I was caught up with Skyraiders I’d know, but yeah). I really don’t think the Scarlet Man would throw him something without help, and Tempest doesn’t strike me as a proud guy. Broken and torn-up, but not proud and arrogant. I’d think he would take help, but what was the help?

And then, what about his fellow prisoners? Do they resent Tempest for leaving them behind? Do they view him as a hero? Did they make sacrifices to allow him escape in the hope that he would get help? All of the above?

I feel like I’m missing out on so much here.


Okay, so,

The other day when I created my Doctor Who RP character, I liked him so much I began thinking about him as a stand alone character. I began developing a plot and I wanted to here your thoughts on it.

(@DragonWisper, this will also give a little more understanding to my character on SE.)

The main character is a human-like young man named Tylanous (Ty) Corvan aka “The Traveler.”


The basic premise of the story is that the entire universe is like a giant clock. Each number on the clock represents the location of one of the twelve realms. The point in the center where the hands extend out from, represents the location of our realm, the center realm.
The three hands on the clock represent three distinct passages from our realm to the other twelve. At different times, different passage ways open up, allowing a crossover between realms. But, of course, there are laws about crossing and who can cross. That is where the Traveler comes in. He is one of a group of R.E.A.L.M.S. (Reality’s Entrances And Laws Measurement Systems) Guardians. They were created to guard the realms and their entrances. But there can’t be good without the presence of evil. Their are others who do not have the universe’s best interests in mind.

The story involves three main pieces of technology.

  1. U.T.I.S.M. (Universal Time In Space Mechanism)
    The UTISM is a watch-like device that enables the wearer to warp through space, allowing him to travel to the 13 realms. It also allows the wearer to see when the three passages are open and how long they will be open.

  1. Peregon Stick
    This is a special weapon/tool carried by all Guardians as well as the… anti-guardians?(Still working on their names.)
    It is a cylinder shaped stick with a blue sphere of energy at the top.
    It has many abilities that include discharging small or large blasts of energy, locking and unlocking any lock, communication with other guardians, etc. (Yes this is somewhat like the sonic screwdriver, but oh well.)

  2. The Traveler’s Glasses
    Not so much for eyes sight as they are for their technical abilities. They are connected to his Peregon stick. They can store information, they have a built in screen, they have microscopic and telescopic and inferred capabilities, they also have built in rearview mirrors.

Here is a small sample of what it will be like.


The sun shone brightly, it’s rays reflecting off the tall buildings of Downtown Chicago. The streets bustled with people as they hurried about their business, everyone in a hurry to go somewhere.
One figure seemed to stand out from the crowd. He looked normal enough. He wore a white collared shirt, open at the neck, with a loosened black tie. He wore dark, faded jeans and black dress shoes. A dark gray overcoat completed the image, a perfect combination of casual and business.
He was young looking, possibly in his early twenties, but his air seemed to suggest that he had seen much in those twenty years. His blond hair was neat, but natural.
His icy blue eyes twinkled with a firm, yet easy going personality. A pair of black rimmed glasses gave him the intelectual image.

He strode down the sidewalk with an even, but unhurried gait. He turned down South Jefferson Street. As he passed an ATI, he glanced at the clock in the window. It was 12:33 exactly. He looked down at his sleek, but not too flashy wristwatch. He was right on time.

He turned and enter a small, storefront Panera Bread. After ordering a cup of coffee, he took a seat in a booth. He glanced at his watch from time to time while he waited. Soon the waitress appeared around the corner carrying a steaming cup. She sat it in front of him and, nodding his thanks, he began to doctor it up how he liked it with a fair amount of cream and sugar.

The waitress eyed him curiously. Most people who came in were regulars, yet she had never seen this one before. He wasn’t carrying a briefcase so he couldn’t be a businessman. He didn’t exactly dress like a tourist, besides, she pondered, it was out of season anyway. She clutched her tray, the curiosity taking control of her. Well, maybe she had a few minutes. She cleared her throat. “So are you from around here?” He looked up, his clear blue eyes a bit thoughtful. “When I need to be.” He muttered absentmindedly.

She wondered at the strange remark. “Do you have a name?”

He took a sip off his coffee before responding. “I am known in many realms as the Traveler.”

She fingered her bracelet. “So you travel a lot?”

“You could say that.”

She nodded. “Where are you heading next?”

He glanced at his watch once more. “You’ve never heard of it.”

“I’ve been to a lot of places.” She protested.

He smiled knowingly. “Trust me, you’ve never heard of it.”

He took a long sip from his mug and suddenly stood up. “I’m sorry, but I must go.”

He pulled several coins out of his pockets and pressed them into her hand. “I will be back for the rest of that coffee.” He turned and walked briskly out the door.

She stared after him, startled by his sudden exit. She shook her head. Why did she always have to get all the weirdos. She looked down in her hand, quickly counting the tip. She clamps her hand over her mouth to stifle a gasp. There among the quarters and dimes that made up her tip sat a coin she had never seen in her whole life. It was octagon shaped with odd symbols carved on it’s copper colored face. But what really convinced her that it was no earthly currency was the glowing blue line that ran down the middle.

He exited the shop and turned right down the street. He walked quickly now. It was only a few minutes more before the opening. He started on a steady jog, stopping before an unfinished building. He glanced at the large “Under Construction” sign nailed to the door. He pulled the handle, locked. Reaching into his breast pocket he pulled out as cylinder shaped object. A small blue sphere at the end seemed to pulsate with energy. He scanned the street behind him before touching the lock with it. With a loud click, the magnet unlocked and he quickly entered.

His glasses, which had darkened to block out the sun, cleared allowing him to take in the scene. It was definitely a work sight. Tools and materials lay scattered here and there. He noted the silence. Apparently the site was vacant, which made things considerably easier.

He held up his stick as well as his watch and studied them both carefully. Satisfied, he turned and jogged down a flight of creaking stairs. He reached the bottom and turned to face the north wall, just in time to see a ghostly outline appear on the bricks.

He pulled off his glasses and tucked them into his pocket as the outline began to take shape. The outline became clearer, looking very much like a doorway The wall inside the frame began to ripple and part as a landscape took shape on the other side. The Traveler gazed at the sight that opened up before him, a large desert stretched out beyond the doorway. The sun shone brightly into the dimly lit room. He could feel the heat, as well as the soft breeze. He could just make out the small outlines of a settlement in the distance. It was not new to him. He had seen it hundreds of times, but it still amazed him.

He clenched his jaw. He was not here for the view, however. He had other business to attend to. He carefully slipped his Peregon stick up his sleeve and stood, awaiting the coming event.

The minutes ticked by and soon Ty relaxed a bit. Perhaps Hangar wouldn’t come this time. That thought was quickly vanquished as the hideous face of Hangar suddenly appeared in the doorway. Ty grimaced at the metal skull like mask that made up half of his face. The other half was just as bad. A large nose portuded from the middle of his face. A beady eye peered out from under a shaggy eyebrow, His slicked back hair and leering grin finished the interdimensional criminal look.

His grin quickly turned to a snarl as he spotted the calm figure of the Traveler.

Ty stepped forward. “Well, look who’s trying to sneak into the center realm… again. Really, Hangar, don’t you ever give up?”

Hangar’s eyebrow twitched as he took in the unwanted presence. “Agh, Traveler, you seem to have a knack at showing up at the worst times.” He spoke in a thick guttural voice that made Ty cringe.

Ty smiled. “I guess you could say it’s what I do.”

Hangar growled at this, his visible face filled with hate and fear. “Tell me something, Traveler, just how exactly are you going to stop me from crossing?”

He sighed. “You should know better then to ask that.” He opened his hand, allowing his Peregon stick to slip into it.

Hangar eyed it with a mask of contempt. “You really believe that you and your little stick will stop me?”

Ty gripped the stick and tensed, the corners of his mouth pulled upward in a classic Ty Corvun smirk. “Nah, just the stick!”

Hangar roared and lunged forward, just as Ty’s hand shot out. The Pere-stick slammed into his chest end first. With a blue flash, Hangar flew backwards, landing on his back in the sand. Ty pointed his stick at Hangar, his eyes glowing as bright as the Peregon sphere.

Hangar rolled painfully onto his hands and knees, his eye fiery with hatred. He let out a guttural growl as he pointed at Ty. “You won’t always be there, boy! I will get in one day!”

Ty met his gaze, his eyes sparkled with determination. “Maybe…, but not today.”

With a deafening scream, Hangar rushed forward just as the doorway vanished, the wall appearing just as it did before.

Ty twirled his Pere-stick and slipped it back into his breast pocket.

He pulled out his glasses and slipped them on. “Now for that cup of coffee….”

To be continued… maybe.

Okay, that was a little longer than I thought it would be.


Looks good… I’m not the one to ask critique though. I scan when its on the computer. :grimacing: Sorry.


O-O. . .

crickets chirp in background

is as confuzzled as a peach

Yes, I actually do have someone waiting. :smirk: This first segment is just an introduction to explain how Lazuli (my MC) breaks out of Evercity. The second segment will be the breakout, which is the spring to officially introduce Lazuli into the RP.

Haha, yeah, I see the timeline / throwback problem. I used that particular scene in Tempest’s past (when he gives the warning letter to Vytanni) as an excuse to have Evangeline get the letter to him (since Arre didn’t have a backstory for the letter) and so I could get Tempest and Evageline to meet, securing Lazuli’s escape. Kinda complicated and probably a very weak stance, and if I understand correctly, you’re saying that it’s weak and doesn’t give for better RP concept, right? I’ll be changing that! Actually, I think you’ve just given me inspiration to make a better plot and tie connections for a better intro! :open_mouth: Thanks!


. . .

suddenly just realizes everything you were referencing at the beginning and suddenly realizes AAU does not stand for Aetherlight Alternate Universe :woman_facepalming:

I haven’t read much of Autagtrophe Alpaca Untitled except for maybe the first post, heh heh? (Sorry! It’s not that it’s not interesting! It’s just. . . I got distracted trying to keep up with the flood of other RPs out there… such as Skyraiders :laughing:) But, yes! The prison is in a different facility away from Lucky’s palace but still somewhere in / near Evercity. More specifically, it’s more like a lab facility besides being a prison for Wynged.

Actually. . . this was the “inspiration” you just gave me above. :laughing: This was exactly what I had in mind and think I shall do this! :smiley:

That’s a very good point. I think I’ll be rewriting this first segment, getting other Skyraider characters involved, and having them back up Tempest when breaks into Evercity’s Wynged facility. As for how he broke out, I’m not sure yet since Arre / @Corvyd actually didn’t write about this yet in MPRP. :stuck_out_tongue: I’m not sure if I’m allowed to write about this or spoil her plans, haha. But if @Corvyd is okay with it, I guess I could write how Tempest breaks in at the current time with what knowledge about the facility’s layout he already has? And then maybe we can begin revealing some of his backstory as the RP progresses?

Again, I’m not sure about this. :thinking: He’s not my character (I wish he was! :laughing:), but I’ll have to rewrite this segment and check with Arre on a lot of these pointers. Thanks so much for the critique!

@PlͥⱥgͣuͫeDoctor Woahhh, I love your theme! It’s very unique! I’m not sure if I can give any critique or inspiration, but I read through the story and found some writing advice to point out, if you don’t mind. :slight_smile:

There are some parts that need transitional words / phrases to make the sentences flow more smoothly. Using more gerunds, infinitives, prepositions, and conjunctions can help. Also, there is a lot of “he, he, he” (:laughing:) in the selection and makes it sound a bit redundant. Maybe replace the subject of some of the sentences with a different subject besides “he”? For example, instead of saying “he looks like this” / “he looks like that” or “he did this” / “he did that,” maybe use the things you’re focusing on to be the subjects of some of your sentences rather than just “he” being the grammatical subject.

Here are some sentences I think need some editing:

(added and to connect the sentences)

(Strode to striding and connected the two sentences)

And maybe use repetition here :arrow_down: to give this part more suspense and to also reinforce to the reader that the time is important?

(fixed verb tense / grammar, connected sentences, and used abrupt sentences and repitition to create suspence)



Semicolon ( ; ) after tourist

notices post has disappeared. . . O-O

Aw, I wanted to read what happens next. Oh well. If you ever need someone to help proofread for you, feel free to @ me!


You’re welcome.

headscratch I forget what the formal RPG term is for controlling someone’s character without their permission was - I actually thought about asking you about that, whether they were both your characters. It appears that Mountain Top RP is a bit looser on…whatever that word is…it’s form of railroading but that isn’t quite it…anyway.

Eh, undiscussed RPG plans are bad. Like, if you had written a post like this with my character in it and actually posted it without collaborating with me on it first, I would be very tempted to take it to the RP discussion topic and contest it as railroading. Dictating a piece of their character’s backstory to them without their permission? It’s probably my formal RPG background, but that is considered a big no-no, and rather rude. Not that you were planning to do that - Arre knows at least, so cat’s out of the bag now. But still. General note: bad practice.

(headscratch I think you have to do a little of the railroading to avoid tons of RP posts where you just have tiny responses. I think that’s called pinging. But this struck me as too much. Then characters get stuck waiting for a response from that one slow fuzzywalker that was late. Fun. )

If I was going to do this, I would have one of your characters talk to Tempest and possibly have that person, not Tempest, spearhead the rescue. Maybe they get the note from the Scarlet Man. But you probably already thought about that. Also, you should keep in mind that how much of a relationship Tempest has with Luzuli is up to Arre /@Corvyd. I understand that these collaboration things can be frustrating, so if none of this works Luzuli can probably bust her way out herself. I mean, Tempest did it, yeah? You have options! :smile: And prisons can be big places.

Yeah, I didn’t know whether you had read Autagtrophe Alpaca Untitled or not. You haven’t, so ignore me and my silly jokes. :stuck_out_tongue: But yeah, this post did remind me of something I wrote in there…:stuck_out_tongue:

I love the lab idea too. The Maximum Ride crossover has intensified. :stuck_out_tongue: And if you don’t know what that is, ignore me.

That is an idea. However, the Bible does preclude the idea of alternate dimensions in real life, and given that the Aetherlight is a biblical analogy…I’d really hesitate to actually make that RP.

It’s okay as a story concept - I actually know a Christian guy who took a story where alternate dimensions were confirmed to exist and made a really amazing story out of it. Unfortunately, he made some other mistakes…and the story and the explanation of how he was able to create such an awesome story was lost to the Internet. I saved a lot of it before it got lost, but I can’t post it here because it was his stuff, and I can’t link to it ‘cuz it’s gone. :frowning: So I’m not opposed to alt. Universes on principle, as long as you know: they don’t exist in real life.

I do hope that he might join us on this forum someday - say a prayer :pray:, because he would be so good around here. He puts my writing to shame.